Congrulations

written on 10.19.2025

Are you happy with what you have become?
You used to be some big, scary monster to me
But now all I see is a weak, cowardly monster
Who begs for forgiveness and to be spared
To think I used to be scared of you
How crazy that is to think now

Every single time I would try to bring up the elephant in the room
You would run away in fear
Every single time I would try to unburden myself
You would disengage to protect YOUR peace
Every single time I try to lessen my resentment for you
You would never solve the issue and run away
Every single time I try to unmask myself around you
You would criticize me and tell me to put the mask back on

You realize how absolutely dangerous of a Siren you are, right?
Are you going to run away again when someone tries to fight you?
Are you going to run away again when someone wants to eliminate you?
Are you going to run away again when we just want to eliminate the threat we feel from you?
Are you going to run away again when you don’t want to eliminate your own threats?

What did I even mean to you?
It really feels like I didn’t mean much to you
No matter how hard I served you
You would never give me what I needed
No matter how many times I served you
You could never give me the healthy meal I needed
No matter how much effort I put into serving you
You would always give me scraps in return

Why did I let myself consume all of my feelings for you?
Why did I allow myself to fall in love with you?
Why did I attach myself to someone who could never be the same for me as I do for her?
Why did I have to choose you out of all people?
Why did I choose your world out of all worlds?
Why are you charming in the beginning only?
Why are you distant after a couple of months?

How could I have allowed you to control my mind
How could I have allowed you to take the lead
How could I have allowed you to give me warmth
How could I have allowed you to give me scraps and be okay with it
How could I have allowed you to allow my anxiety to roam free
How could I have allowed you to be my closest companion
How could I have allowed you to be my everything

How could you?
How could you.
How could you!
How could you....
How could you
How could you