How Long?

Written on 03/21/2022

A little small ball of light and hope
For one day, I could have it
The next day, it immediately gets crushed.

The pain
The tears
The sadness
The depression

All you see is hidden away,
All you see is anger
All you see is aggression
All you see is agony

My hopes and dreams
So simple
Yet so hard to receive
I’ve tried so much
Yet the result keeps on being the same

I’m so used to being rejected
I’m so used to it being one-sided
I’m so used to not receiving the same feelings
I’m so used to feeling the pain

Everything is the same
Everything is pain
Everything is repeating
Everything is hopeless

How long do I have to wait?
How long do I have to feel this?
How long do I have to yearn this?
How long must I be like this?

I can’t get rejected anymore and be okay with it
I can’t be nice and pretend like it’s fine
I can’t afford to feel alone anymore
I can’t take the pain anymore

I would rather you stay in my life
I know the issue is that I tied my string to you
If only I didn’t tie it to you…
Everything would be fine