Nonverbal Communication

A nonverbal communication characteristic that I decided to do was changing my outfit. I specifically wore a buttoned white formal shirt, black leggings, and a tie to make myself look like a formal masculine attire. I chose this particular nonverbal behavior because it was simple to conduct. I don’t often dress formally in a setting that doesn't need formal dressing. I also chose this outfit to wear because I am a transgender man. This outfit is essential to me because I feel gender affirmation by wearing it. I did not use my preferred name when introducing myself in this class because I am anxious that my relative who works on campus on the same day might overhear. I feel safer in the sense of not coming out in this class just in case my relative would overhear even if she left campus before class started. This outfit is one of the few outfits that I feel masculine in which expresses my gender identity even if people may misgender me in public. I believe that others would see me in this outfit as the fact that I would prefer wearing masculine attire over feminine attire when it comes to formal dressing. My relationship with myself improves when I wear this masculine attire since I feel happier and more like myself when wearing this attire. My loved ones accept me for who I am and don’t mind the outfits that I choose to wear for myself.

I conducted this experiment in two different contexts on the same day, the first environment that took place was me wearing this formal attire to the Arcadia Westfield mall with my friends. When I first started to put on my outfit to test out this experiment for the hang out in the mall, my family, specifically my mom and stepdad, questioned me where I was going since this was an unusual outfit for a casual hang out. My mom also seemed judgemental and annoyed with the fact that I was wearing masculine attire. During my trip to the mall, the tie got uncomfortable so I took it off and did not wear it for most of the day in both contexts. When I met up with my friends in the car, they did not react to my outfit. While I was walking through the mall, I did not get any odd looks nor any reaction whatsoever in general and that could be because my outfit looked like it was casual-formal rather than fully formal. It did feel uncomfortable while I was spending time throughout the day in the mall since the arm sleeves of my shirt felt tight. I also felt uncomfortable because I was unable to roll my sleeves up properly when washing my hands and had to get my sleeve wet at times and trying out new clothes was more difficult than I had expected. During the day throughout the mall, I would typically wear a shirt that was short-sleeved and meant for the weather. As a result, I had issues of feeling sweaty and hot while walking around in the mall. I was told by one of my friends that I looked like a businessman or a man going to work. I believe that my friends were not surprised by the fact that I chose to wear a formal outfit since I had hinted in our group chat that I needed to do something for an assignment and was struggling with my outfit before going to the car. My friends have also seen me in this formal outfit which looked like something I would wear and I have in the past. They have known that I am a trans man for a year now and are not surprised by the outfit I chose to wear for the hangout.
I ended up arriving at my friend’s car later than they had expected because the tie that I was wearing ended up being difficult to tie.

Typically I would be monochronic about preparing my outfit and preparing to go to the mall. However, this time around, due to an unexpected failure of my tie preparation taking much longer, I ended up being polychronic in the sense that I had to adapt by being late. I had planned to use a zipper tie but since mine broke, I had no choice but to use my actual tie instead. I never properly tied a tie before and I failed to tie it by using a YouTube tutorial so I ended up asking my grandma to help me tie the tie since she had experience with it before. Because of that, I ended up knowing how to loosen a tie and tighten it again if I needed to take it off. During my trip to the mall, I felt comfortable and happy with myself since I liked wearing masculine clothes. I also felt like I fitted in since I saw other men wearing similar clothes as I did. I had struggled with temperature and feeling sweaty due to the long-sleeved shirt I was wearing and an undershirt underneath that I ended up sweating from the trip to the car to when I walked to my house.

I decided to use the same outfit but without a tie for the family dinner and continue this experiment for my assignment since it would be better to have more to write on this essay. My mom and stepdad had once again questioned why I was using the same outfit for the family dinner outside in a restaurant. My mom seemed annoyed and judgemental again that I was wearing this outfit for the family dinner. Since the day was getting cooler, I did not feel as hot as I did during the day. When I arrived at the restaurant, my relatives were surprised that I was in an unusual outfit. They all had looked at me for a while before going back to doing their own business. A family member who works in the restaurant had noticed my unusual outfit choice for the family dinner and was surprised at my outfit. She had looked at me for a good while before asking my parents why I was wearing an outfit that looked like I was going to work. My mom had shown nonverbal cues by showing her hand to point out that she was telling the truth about why I was wearing this attire and engaged with my relative. Throughout the family dinner, I did not feel uncomfortable in my outfit, I felt happy that I was able to wear this outfit. When going back home, I did not have issues of feeling hot like I did during the day since the nightly weather was cooler.

This experiment showed me that in terms of attire, my nonverbal communication of wearing something different from what would be typical in a casual setting would leave the people interacting with me quite surprised and confused. It did not bother anyone except my mother who was already unaccepting of my identity as a trans man which was not surprising to me. The people who saw me in this attire today knew I was doing this for an assignment after I got their initial reactions. My friends seemed to not mind the nonverbal communication I had with them in terms of attire since they had already seen me wearing this attire before. If I had worn something that seemed like something I wouldn’t wear at all then they would have had a more surprising reaction. My family had not seen me in this attire that often which explained why they were more surprised to see me in this attire than my friends.

I am glad that I did this experiment since I get to feel more gender affirmed in myself for one day. I also felt like I was doing the Identity Script that I wanted in my own life. The artifact, the white buttoned shirt, is specifically important to me because of that. I would not like to wear formal attire for an event meant for casual dressing again. This is because the clothes felt uncomfortable to wear during the day and it was hot for me to deal with. It would have been nicer if I had worn more comfortable clothes that were fitted for me to better deal with the weather. It also would feel more comfortable when I wanted to try on new clothes and wanted to roll my sleeves up so it wouldn’t get wet. I also feel like if I had worn my tie more, I could have gotten more reactions out of this experiment. This experiment also makes me feel like I would make a Social Comparison of myself to other men I see in public since I would want to look like them. However, I did not wear the tie since it was very uncomfortable for me to wear due to having a medical condition related to my neck.