Why Are We Like This?

Could our world ending have been peaceful?
Did you misunderstand my instructions?
Did you forget that you triggered my anxiety?
Was me unrevealing my perfect mask too much for you to handle?
You revealing your true withdrawn nature triggered my anxiety.
Your withdrawn nature caused me unbearable anxiety
Did you know that?

You said you wanted your break ups to be peaceful and to end on a good resolution
I gave you extremely specific instructions to allow me to feel safe with you
I was not trying to break your request
I tried my absolute best to understand your side
Why did you not even try to understand what I was trying to speak?
You gave up on me.
You gave up on our peaceful ending

You triggered my anxiety, my internal torture
It was one you didn’t see
It was one I never wanted you to see
It was an internal torture I never wanted you to see
Why did you run away from our possible peaceful ending?
You realized that in order for you to request that I wouldn’t act like a violent monster to you was an extremely tough request right?
You had to do your job of not triggering my internal torture
You failed to do that job.
Did you forget it’s easy to trigger my internal torture even if you didn’t mean to?

If I see you as a threat
I will hunt you down like I’m a monster
You triggered my fight or flight mode
Flight never worked so it was fight for me
Meanwhile for you, it was flight since fight never worked
So exhausted of being unable to defend myself
I would be extremely aggressive to make up for the lack of defending myself
I would attack everyone left and right as soon as they triggered my instinct to protect myself

I’m sorry my former princess
When I no longer feel threatened
I will realize that I never wanted our world to end up as a messy fight that caused you to run away again
I’m like a werewolf that doesn’t realize I turned into a scary wolf when threatened enough
Never had much experience with healthy relationships
The world had been so brutal to me
I turned into a monster and slash anyone who dares to threaten me